Forgetting to Dance- A Dance Moms Story
by Whovian2525
Summary: Maddie is no longer apart of the ALDC... how will she handle seeing her life crumble away? How many times is the words, "I'm fine," overused? Well, that is exactly how Maddie feels now. "If I didn't dance, I would kill myself,"-Maddie Ziegler, from Dance Moms. Will she do it though? Or was she exaggerating?
1. Kicked Out

**Forgetting To Dance**

**Hi! This is my first Dance Moms fanfiction so be easy on me please! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dance Moms**

**Maddie's POV:**

I was in the studio when Ms. Abby peeled off the first picture on the pyramid. It was me. I was on the bottom. Me.

"First on the pyramid, Maddie. Maddie, I didn't feel the emotion from you. What has gotten into you?" she asked me, staring into my skull. I felt the stares from everyone in the room and all I wanted to do was roll in a ball and die. This was so humiliating. I tried to do my best last week but I guess it just wasn't good enough. I guess I wasn't good enough. I looked over at everyone, stupidly, and I saw Kendall smirking. I closed my eyes to stop them from tearing up and I looked back at Abby as she went on with the pyramid. It went from Nia, Brooke, Paige, Mackenzie, Chloe, and then Kendall. Kendall got first. It's not like I'm not happy for her, she deserves it, but I do feel disappointed. Disappointed in myself and for my dancing. I am a failure.

Ms. Abby called us in from the den to announce what dances we are going to get.

"Kendall, you are getting a solo called Beautiful and it's a lyrical dance. You have to be beautiful and graceful to make it real, which I think you can certainly do. Nia and Mackenzie, you are going to have a duet called Magic and it's all about a magician showing her apprentice that she has power to do magic too. Oh, and Brooke, you are going to do an acro dance titled I'll miss you, and it's about a teenager going to college away from everyone she loves. The group dance will be called Loose Ties and it's about a girl falling apart and no matter what anybody does, she can't be fixed. Maddie, you will be the feature dancer for this. Don't disappoint me," she says looking at me. I feel snickers behind me. I look down and we work on the group dance first.

When we start, Abby doesn't stop yelling at me.

"Maddie! Posture! Maddie, what did I tell you about your feet? You call those pirouettes? Maddie!" she barks at me. I try to fix all my mistakes but she continues to yell at me.

"Thats it! Maddie, leave the room. You're no longer apart of this group number. Kendall will replace you," she says. I look up at her. She's replacing me?

"LEAVE MADDIE!" she yells at me, pointing at the door. I walk out the door, staring at the ground. I go into the den and sit down on a bench. I don't cry. If I cry, then they would win. Instead, I open my locker and grab my bag. I put my sweats on text my mom that I wanted to leave. I hear her come down.

"Maddie, what are you doing?" she asks, looking up at me.

"I'm not in the group dance anymore," I tell her meekly. She shakes her head and goes into the studio before I can stop her. I listen intently from outside.

"Abby, can I talk to you outside, please," my mom asks. I don't hear Abby talk for a couple of seconds.

"I'm busy, Melissa. Can it wait?" Abby asks, annoyed.

"No, actually. Please," my mom asks, sounding nervous.

"Fine, lets go," Abby gives in. I run away so then they wouldn't know that I was listening in.

"Why did you take my daughter out of the group dance when she didn't do anything wrong?" my mom confronts Abby. I see Abby roll her eyes.

"I took her out because she's just not the right fit anymore. She's not the same Maddie as she was two weeks ago. I was thinking about pulling her from the ALDC," I silently shrieked when she said that. She was thinking about kicking me out? But… but… I tried! I still continue to try!

"You know that dance is Maddie's life, Abby. Don't kick her out," my mom stands up for me. I silently thank her.

"Melissa, I just don't think she's a good dancer anymore. She has lost her technique. I really think pulling her would be the best thing to do," Abby says.

"Abby, please-" my mom starts but gets interrupted.

"I've made up my mind. Tell Maddie that she's no longer apart of this team," Abby says, walking back into the studio to continue the group dance. Did I just get kicked out? I run out of the building and into the parking lot. I sit down by my mom's car and grind my nails in the gravel. My whole body hurts. My heart hurts from not being able to dance. My mom comes out and gives me a sympathetic look, walking towards me. She starts to talk but I cut her off.

"Don't mom, just don't," I tell her, opening up the car door. I grab my headphones and put them in my ears, blocking everything out. My mom yanks the headphones and grabs my phone.

"Maddie, listen to me! We can get you into other dance studios," she says hopefully. I shake my head.

"No one else will take me. I got kicked out. You know what happens to people who get kicked out of studios; they get labeled as the girl who got kicked out. No one will want me," I explain to her, getting out of the car. She rolls down the window.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. I love you!" she tells me, backing away from the driveway. I go into my house and slam the door. I run up to my door, going on to my laptop. I log on to Facebook and see all the comments that are up already.

Kimmi Ridgeway [This is just a made up name… sorry for the coincidence if there is one]: Haha, FINALLY! That whore got kicked off! Smoothies for everyone!

Michael Goodrich [Same thing]: I bet that slut got knocked up… I wouldn't be surprised!

Allison Peterson [Same thing]: I am so glad! Dance Moms will definitely be better without her on it! She was such a brat!

Kendall: Haha! Beat that, bitch!

I look at all the comments over and over again. How did they already know? Kendall probably told them. I can't believe some people think I got knocked up! I'm only fourteen! I continue to stare at my laptop in disbelief. I run my hand through my hair and my eyes glance at the scissors on my desk. I get up off my bed and head over to my desk. I pick up the scissors and my finger glides on the point. I look at my wrist and put the scissors to it. I am about to cut when Makenzie opens the door. She smiles but frowns when she sees the scissors in my hand.

"What are you doing? You aren't…" she asks, confronting me. I smile at her and drop the scissors and go over to hug her.

"No, of course not, Kenzie! My scissors dropped to the ground so I picked them up. I would never hurt myself," I tell her, lying. I felt bad about lying but if I told her the truth, she would tell mom and they would probably send me to an institution or something.

"Okay, good. Don't ever do that," she instructs me, looking into my eyes. I kiss her on the cheek and head over to my bed, shutting the laptop before she sees what I'm looking at.

"Is it weird not dancing?" she asks me. I roll my eyes at her.

"I got… kicked out today. I still danced today. I just won't later," she looks down at my words. They sounded less harsh in my head. I'm trying to act as if I don't care about this, but it's slowly killing me. Dance was everything. I will have to go back to school- I'm homeschooled so I have more time for dance. I don't want to go to school! I want to dance, to do lyrical numbers and be with my friends! I want to be the famous Maddie Ziegler, the dancer. How can I be known as the dancer if I'm not a dancer?

"Ok, well, dinner's ready," Kenzie tells me, interrupting my thoughts. I nod and start to head downstairs, still thinking about the scissors.

**Okay so that was Chapter One! One review for more!**

**-That hopeless Whovian, Ruth… Whovian2525**


	2. First Day of School

**Forgetting to Dance Chapter Two**

**Hi! So last chapter: Maddie was kicked off… how will she handle it? Read this chapter to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dance Moms**

**Maddie's POV:**

I go back to school today. I'm going into 9th grade. A new high school. A new me. Do I like it? Too early to say. I'm in my room getting ready. I stare at all my clothes but nothing looks worthy of my first day of high school. Sure, it's in the middle of the school year but I was homeschooled to have more time to dance, but that's not a problem anymore. I finally pick out a pair of dark jeans and a sweater with converse. I let my hair fall down on my shoulders, them being slightly wavy from my braid. I put eyeliner, mascara, and a hint of lip gloss on. Once I'm satisfied of how I look, I grab my bag and go downstairs. I see my mom come downstairs as she tells me to meet her in the car. I grab an apple and I sit in the car, thinking how fast this has been. I don't even have time to think about all this. I have no idea how I feel. I feel sad. No, I feel more than sad. I feel as if everything I had got blown away in one quick second. When we get to my new school, I say goodbye to my mom and head towards the front gates.

I go into the school and I see the cliche of what high school really is. Kids are scattered across the hall, opening up lockers and snickering at whatever girl is wearing. I sigh and go to the office to get my schedule but I have no idea where it is. I don't want to ask anyone but I know that that's the only way to find my way around the school. I spot a boy sitting on the ground, reading. I go over to him and sit next to him.

"Excuse me? Do you know where the office is?" I ask him sweetly. He looks up at me. He seems shocked that I asked him something.

"Um, are you asking me?" he asks, putting his book beside him. I nod.

"Ya, I need help finding the office. I'm new and have no idea where anything is," I confess. He gets up and helps me up.

"It's over there. Here, I'll show you," he says, walking. I catch up to him and we head to the office in comfortable silence.

"Thanks, I'm Maddie," I say when we reach the office.

"I'm Ian," he says. I look up at him. He has brown hair, dark green eyes, and pale skin. He's actually really attractive. I smile and go into the office after I watch him leave. I get my schedule and go into my classroom, knowing that I already hate the class. Math… I hate math. I like literature and history the best. Science and math are the worst.

The bell rings, indicating lunch. I grab my bag and go into the lunchroom, seeing hundreds of kids goof off and throw things. I sigh seeing that I know nobody. Everyone at the ALDC go to another high school. They go to a private school, which sucks. Although, I know that Peyton goes here, along with Kendall and I've been lucky enough not to see them. I buy a salad with an apple and find an empty seat. I am about to sit down when a girl speaks up.

"Oh, that seat's taken," she says, glaring at me. I sigh and am about to sit down in another but she clearly won't give up.

"All of them are," she says. I roll my eyes and go away to another table. They do the same thing. I'm about to give up when I see Ian sitting down at a table in the very back. I walk over to him and smile, sitting down. As soon as he sees me, his face lights up like a christmas tree.

"Hi, Maddie," he acknowledges me. I smile brightly back at him say hi to him too.

"So, why are you coming late in the school year?" he me. I look at my uneaten salad.

"I was homeschooled but that didn't exactly work out," I respond. He nods and we sit in silence. Ian looks like he's going to talk but is interrupted by Kendall walking up to us.

"Oh look what the cat dragged in," she says, giving me a smirk. Her 'minions' all laugh and stare at me.

"Kendall, how are you? I haven't seen you in ages," I smile, obviously fake.

"I'm alright. I won the competition. What did you place again? Oh that's right, you're not on the dance team anymore," she says. I scoff.

"Oh ya, I saw that. You messed up on your turns and your facial expression looked like a cow dying," I tell her, smirking. I hear Payton gasp. What am I in right now? A Barbie movie?

"At least I'm still on the team. At least I'm still popular. At least I'm not a pathetic bitch who has no life. You should go kill yourself, everyone would be happier that way," she says, glaring at me. Ian looks shocked and doesn't know what to do. He looks at me and I hastily look away. Kendall flips her hair and walks away.

"Sorry you had to see that," I apologize to Ian.

"It's alright. I'm sorry you had to go through that," I shrug in response. The bell rings and I throw my uneaten salad in the trash, saying goodbye to Ian. I walk towards my history class, seeing Kendall sitting down in a chair. She is doing her makeup. Didn't she already do her makeup two minutes ago? I roll my eyes and go up to the teacher, introducing myself. She points me towards a desk that is, of course, next to Kendall. I hastily sit down next to her and take out my notebook. She looks over at me and rolls her eyes. I wait for the bell to ring to see what hell will bring me.

**So? How was the second chapter? How was Ian? Do you like him? One vote and one comment for more!**

**-That hopeless Whovian, Ruth… Whovian2525**


	3. Hiding a Stranger

**Forgetting to Dance Chapter 3**

**Hi! Okay so this is a new chapter. Last chapter, Maddie met a boy named Ian. Relationship or just friends? Read to find out!**

**Maddie's POV:**

I stared into oblivion while the teacher was handing the rest of the class worksheets. I already knew all of that stuff so I grabbed a sheet too. Kendall looked over at me and whispered in my ear, "freak," while she flipped her hair to the side, laughing with her minions. I clenched my teeth and continued on my worksheet.

"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Peterson, I had to go to the office," I hear a familiar voice say. I look up and see Ian, heading over to the teacher's desk, handing her a small sheet of paper. He looked over at me and stood by the desk.

"I believe you're in my seat," he says smiling.

"Oh ya? What are you going to do about it?" I ask, being flirtatious. He laughs and puts his head down in the most adorably way.

"Oh god, please don't tell me the freak is talking to the geek," Kendall says, staring at us. I roll my eyes and get up to head over to the table in the very back. I glance back at Ian while he sits down in the desk, putting his head down. That bitch. Does she have to ruin everything for me? I am about to finish the worksheet when a piece of paper flies my way. I open it to find the mysterious note hidden away in the crumpled creases. 'Sorry about her. I guess you already know how she is though. Do you want to hang out after school?' the note says, presumably Ian. I respond and throw it back to him. He opens the note to find the answer and smiles.

After school, I go out into the parking lot to find Ian sitting by a tree reading. I skip towards him and take the book from his hands. He smiles and reaches up to grab it back but I skip away. He runs up to me and I run faster to make it harder for him. He stops me by pulling me closer to him. He slides his hand across my waist to grab his book from my back. His fingers grip the book tightly but I don't give up.

"Can I have my book back?" he whines. I smirk.

"What's the magic word?" I joke. He pouts.

"Can I please have my book back?" he asks, whispering the please part in my ear, making me shiver. I smile and give it back to him.

"Thank you," he smiles at me. I sit down on the grass as he goes down too.

"How was your first day?" he asks me. I shrug.

"It was okay. I met a new person though, which was nice. But he's way too obsessed with his precious book," I tease. He smirks.

"Was he handsome?"

"He was decent," I shrug, smiling. He pretends to be hurt.

"Wow, thanks for that self-esteem boost," he jokes. I laugh.

"Shut up," I tell him, laughing. He was about to say something when I saw Kenzie hop up to us.

"Maddie! Mom's in the parking lot!" she tells me, jumping up and down like a puppy.

"Oh okay. Bye Ian," I say to him, grabbing my bag. I'm about to walk away when he stops me. He hands me his book.

"You should read it," he tells me. I shake my head.

"No, you're reading it,"

"Please, this is the tenth time I've read it," he explains. I take the book from his hand, treating it like a butterfly.

"Thank you," I smile. He smiles at me and Kenzie grabs me away from him.

"Come on Maddie!" she screams. I wave goodbye to Ian and walk to Mom's car with Kenzie.

"Who was that?" Kenzie asks me with a smirk.

"No one, just Ian," I feel myself blush. No cheeks! Don't get red!

"Oh, okay. Whatever you say,"

"Shut up," I tell her while getting in the car.

"Hi Maddie. How was school?" my mom asks me.

"Maddie has a boyfriend!" Kenzie screams. I'm going to kill her.

"He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend," I explain to my curious mom.

"Please, you two were flirting," Kenzie argues. I will kill her.

"Shut up," I scold Kenzie. She laughs and flips her hair.

"Maddie, don't tell your sister to shut up. Mackenzie, be nice to your sister," my mom scolds us. My mom stops in front of our house.

"Bye Maddie. I'll see you in a few hours," my mom says as I walk out. I sigh, wishing I was still talking to Ian, sitting and laughing at the tree. I wish those moments could last forever. I walk into my bedroom and log onto Facebook. A bunch of new tags show up [do they do that on Facebook? I don't have one so I have no idea] and I look at the comments.

Megan Henderson [These are made up names, sorry if there are coincidences] - You are such a slut, Maddie. You are a terrible person who should just die. Get out of here! You ugly, stupid person.

I look at some more but I shut my laptop, tears streaming down my face. Why do they hate me so much? I don't even know them. I spot my scissors and pick them up and go to the bathroom. I take the blade and slide it across my wrist. It hurts and stings as blood drips down on the tiles. Oh god, what did I just do? What if someone sees this? I instantly regret doing that. I slide down on the bathroom floor and put my head in hands and dry my tears. No, I can't cry. I won't let myself cry. I continue to stare at the scissors. I have this urge to do it once more. I pick up the scissors and cut one more time. I clench my teeth at the pain. That doesn't stop me, though. I do it again and again, blood dripping down. I have to stop, but at the same time, I have to continue. I do more and more, pain flowing through my body. I cut deeper. More pain. Tears are flowing down in the pain but it doesn't stop me. I hear my phone ring from my bedroom. I stop cutting and clean up the mess and head over to my room to answer. It's my mom.

"Hi sweetie," she says sweetly. I regret cutting myself when I hear her voice.

"Hi mom,"

"I'm going to stay later than usual, honey. Miss Abby wants to go over Mackenzie's solo a bit more," she says. The regret goes over. She called me because of Kenzie's solo. I clutch the phone tightly and bite my lip from saying something stupid.

"Okay, well bye," I tell her, hanging up. I yell in anger and plop on my bed. I see Ian's book and I open it. I see a number on the top. It must be Ian's. I grab my phone and call it.

"Hello?" I hear Ian's voice on the other end.

"Hello stranger," I smile.

"Oh, you found the number. Nice to hear your voice, Maddie. Why'd you call?"

"I'm bored. Do you want to hang out?"

"Sure! Where?"

"Um, my house? I'll give you the address," I suggest. He agrees and fifteen minutes later, I hear a knock at the door. I slide my sweatshirt on over my tank top to hide the cuts and open the door.

"Why hello, Maddie," he says at the door.

"Hi. Come in," I lead him in my house.

"Nice house," he says, plopping down on the couch.

"Thanks," I go to the kitchen and he follows like a puppy. I hand him a soda and I grab a water. He walks to the mini studio my mom set up in the other family room.

"What's this?" Ian asks, touching the barre.

"Oh, it's a mini dance studio. My mom set it up for me and my little sister," I say, embarrassed. He smiles mischievously. Oh, god, he's going to make me dance.

"Show me something," oh, that's the moment I've been dreading. I cringe at the thought of dancing.

"Do I have to?" he nods. I groan and go to the barre, leaving my vans on. I do a simple turn and bow. He laughs.

"Come on, Maddie. I know you were a competitive dancer. Show me something," he says, inching closer to me. I bite my lip and hesitate.

"I don't like to dance anymore," I lie. I've been wanting to dance really badly but I can't. I just can't. He sighs and kisses my cheek.

"Please?" he whispers in my ear. I feel my spine shiver. I grab a pair of ballet shoes and slip them on. I walk over to the barre and do a pirouette. I do some a mini version of one of the dances I did before I was kicked off, before I was nothing. When I was the star. I finish and Ian goes over to me.

"That was amazing," he tells me. I feel myself blush and get up. I slip my vans back on and as if none of that happened, I walk into the TV room and sit down on the couch. Ian follows and sits close to me. We watch some Adventure Time reruns when he notices the box. Why? Ian opens the box to see the contents. He laughs.

"What's this?" he asks, picking up the DVD.

"Nothing!" I scream, inconceivably, running up to grab the DVD.

"I didn't know you were on a reality TV show! I want to watch it!" he screams excitingly. I groan and throw my hands up in despair.

"No please, don't! The editors made me seem like a selfish brat and they put me as the bully. I don't want you to watch it, please," I whisper. I feel my eyes tearing up and I look away, putting my back to Ian. He goes over to me.

"Hey, I'm sorry. What happened to make you so sad?" he asks me softly. I shake my head and don't respond. I'm scared that if I respond, all I'll do is cry and break down. I don't want to show Ian that side of me. I think of my scars. I'm grateful that my sweatshirt hides them.

"You can tell me anything, Maddie. I hope you know that," he says which makes me want to cry even more. He pulls me towards his face and I look into his eyes. I feel a tear fall down my cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb. I start to cry into his shoulder. He hugs onto me tightly.

"It's hard… I don't want to talk," I try to say. Ian shushes me.

"You can tell me when you're ready," he says. I hear a car door slam and I jump off of Ian. He looks at me scared.

"I wasn't supposed to have company over. Especially a boy whom my parents don't know," I tell him.

"Where should I-" he asks but gets cut off by the door being opened. I point towards the stairs.

"In my room!" I whisper scream. We run up and I shut my bedroom door, going downstairs. I flop on the couch and wipe my eyes. I remember the box so I shut it and hide it. I see Mackenzie come in the living room.

"Hi Mads. Can I borrow something from your room? Thanks!" she says without me replying, I jump up to prevent her seeing Ian.

"Wait, Kenzie! I wanted to tell you something before you go into my room!" I shout, indicating that Ian should hide. Kenzie looks at me annoyed.

"Why are you acting like a freak?"

"Um, because I wanted to say that it's impolite to go into other people's rooms without asking," I tell her unsure. She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever, Mads," she says, opening the door. I practically run in.

"I can explain!" I scream while going into my room. Kenzie looks at me weirdly.

"Explain what? That you're such a freak?" she says. I look around my room to see nobody in it. Kenzie grabs a pen and walks out. When she shuts the door, I sigh in relief and go to the window to see Ian running away. Thank god she didn't find out. I would never live that down.

**Well, that was that. Ian found out about her show and Maddie cut. Will she do it again? How will Ian react? How will Maddie cope without dancing? Read to find out.**

**-That hopeless Whovian, Ruth… Whovian2525**


	4. Old Friends and New Relationships

**Forgetting to Dance Chapter 4**

**Hi my lovelies. I hope you don't mind me calling you that. Whatever. Thank you for getting this far in the story, even though I surprisingly update without you knowing, so ya. Thank you so much! I feel so loved!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dance Moms and any names is a coincidence and I do not mean to offend Kendall or Payton in this story, I just need mean girls. I actually really love them.**

**Maddie's POV:**

I sat in my bed, reading the book. I actually really like it. It's bittersweet, I can't believe I've never read it before. Or even heard it before. I hear a knock on the door and I slide the book under my pillow to keep it a secret. Kenzie already found out about Ian, I want to keep this book a secret. A secret to myself.

"Maddie? It's Chloe," I jump off my bed and run to the door. It's beeen so long since I've seen her! Well, one week, but we're usually so close. I open the door to find Kendall standing there next to Chloe and Paige. Weird. I let them in my room and Kendall makes herself comfortable on my bed.

"Hey Maddie," Chloe and Paige say in monotone voices. I sit on the end of the bed, only to be kicked off by Kendall. I pick myself back up, embarrassed and sit on the floor.

"Hey, what's up?" Chloe and Paige look at themselves, uneasy. What's going on?

"Well, we came here to talk. We can't-"

"Won't," Paige interrupts, correcting Chloe.

"We won't be friends with you anymore. It just isn't working," Chloe says, looking at the floor. Paige nudges her. They exchange glances and Paige rolls her eyes and sighs.

"You're a selfish bitch who deserves to be in a casket in the ground. You suck at dancing and you're ugly. Kenzie talks about you behind your back, saying that she's embarrassed to be your sister. She hates your guts and it's not really a surprise. I mean, you are a slut, after all. Just go die in a hole. Or better yet-"

"Kill yourself," Chloe says, looking me straight in my eyes. She gives me a death glare and flips her hair, getting up. Paige closes her eyes and stands up and giggles with Kendall out the door, as if she had never said any of those words. I hug my knees and I feel tears coming in my eyes. I close my eyes, trying my best not to cry. I can't cry. That would mean that they have won. But, haven't they won already? I try to shut all those nasty words out of my head but they stay still. I hear my phone ring and I look at it, seeing that Ian is trying to call me. I answer it and don't make a sound.

"Hey, Maddie. How is my favorite dancer?" the sound of his voice just makes me shut down and I start sobbing.

"Maddie? Are you okay?" I hear Ian, his voice getting softer. I shake my head even though he won't know it.

"Meet me in the park in five minutes," he says, hanging up. I wipe my eyes and put foundation over my eyes to make them look less puffy. I lock my door and I climb out the window.

I feel a breeze rushing through the wind while I sit on a swing, clutching onto the rusty bars. I see Ian walking down the cobble steps, heading towards me. I run up from the swing and I go over to him and hug him.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" he whispers in my ear.

"I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be here with you," I whisper back. He takes my hand and leads me down to the swings. We sit in silence for a while till I finally speak up.

"It's funny, I've known you for only one day and it's like I've known you forever," I say, staring up at him. His eyes are green, a hazel. They're beautiful, while mine are just blue. I've always wanted hazel eyes. That's another thing that I hate about myself. I think I hate everything about myself. I mean, what's to like? Ian snaps me back into focus.

"Then talk to me. What's wrong? Why did you sound like you were crying on the phone and why were you crying earlier? You can tell me, Maddie," I clutch my hands harder on the swings when he says this. I feel tears brimming in my eyes. I can't cry, I can't. I just can't. It's too late, though. Tears start to fall on my face but I don't make a sound. Ian sits in front of me.

"Maddie, don't cry," he whispers, wiping away the tears. I shake my head.

"I can't… I can't do this. I just can't," I whisper. I walk away and I feel Ian holding onto my wrist, trying to make me face him. I face him but I look down.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" I shake my head harder this time. He tries to hug me but I push him off. I try to run away but instead, he grabs my wrist and looks down at it.

"Maddie," he whispers. I get away from him and start to sprint towards my house. When I reach it, I see that Mom is taking out the trash. Not wanting to get caught, I walk away slowly and run towards the ALDC dance studio.

When I reach it, I grab the key and walk in, only to find Abby in the studio. I knock on the door. She looks at me surprised.

"Maddie! How did you get in?" she asks in a hoarse voice. I know my makeup is running, my black eyeliner and mascara dripping down my face, but I couldn't care any less.

"Why? Why do you hate me? You used to love me, I was your favorite student. Then you completely shut me out and then kick me off the team? Who does that to a person? You know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel useless. I loved you and then you kicked me down, especially when I needed you the most. I just want to know why. Why?" I rant on. Miss Abby looks and then rolls her eyes and stares at me dead in the eye.

"You don't have the proper dancer's body," she spits out. What does she mean? "You have stubby little legs, you're too short, and you're not fit. Your body, it's not, well, you're not skinny enough," I stare in disbelief at her words. I run out of the studio without her saying anything else. I know she's going to call my mom, but right now, I don't care. I go back into my room, by the window, only to find my mom sitting on my vanity chair. Shit.

"Madison Nicole Ziegler where were you?" she asks me. I look down at the ground, feeling ashamed. Why is it that's the only emotion I feel anymore? I always feel ashamed. Of myself, of what I do, how I make others feel.

"I went to go see Miss Abby. I wanted to know why I was kicked out," I tell her, leaving out the part about how I met Ian at the park.

"Maddie, you know the rules. You have to ask me if you want to go out. And wipe your eyes, we have company," she demands, walking out and slamming my door. She is a total stage mom. She only acts sweet around company and on television, trying to act like world's best mom. I wipe my eyes, taking off all the makeup when I remember what Abby said. I look in the mirror. She's right. I am fat, I do have stubby legs, I am short. I can't do anything about my height, but I can do something about my weight. I hate throwing up, but maybe, maybe I'll get used to it.

I finish putting on the concealer on my wrist and head downstairs to find Ian sitting on the couch, conversing with my mom.

"Oh, hello, Maddie. I came around because I wanted to talk with you. Your mom's lovely," he smiles. I stare at him with daggers. I can't believe he would just show up.

"Well, Maddie, you chose a very nice boy. I'll leave you two to talk," my mom says.

"We aren't together, Mom," I tell her coldly. She rolls her eyes and waves at us dismissively. I lead him outside to the front porch.

"What are you doing here?" I slightly scream at him. His smile fades and he looks at me sadly.

"I saw your wrist. Why on Earth would you do that?"

"That's none of your concern. I just met you, why would I tell you everything about me?"

"I just want to know why you would hurt yourself. You're perfect, Maddie. Why would you do that?"

"I am the opposite of perfect. I'm a mess,"

"Maddie,"

"Don't Maddie me! You don't get it to feel so alone all the time. Dance was everything to me. Everything! I loved it. But clearly, dance doesn't love me,"

"Maddie, what are you talking about? You were amazing when I saw you dance,"

"No I wasn't. Don't you get it? I got kicked out for a reason. I'm fat, I'm useless, I'm just a big slut who doesn't deserve to-"

"Don't say that about yourself, Maddie. Please, just stop. Why can't you see that you're beautiful?"

"Because I'm not. Just leave me alone. Why are you trying so hard? I don't deserve this,"

"Because anyone is worth fighting over. Especially you," Ian walks closer to me and does something that surprises me. He kisses me. When he stops, he kisses my cheek.

"You're beautiful. Don't forget that," he whispers in my ear. He walks away, not even looking back.


	5. I Can't Do This Anymore

**Forgetting to Dance Chapter 5**

**Hi my lovelies! How are you? This is chapter five and last chapter, Ian kissed Maddie. Are they a couple? Read to find out!**

**Maddie's POV:**

I walk downstairs to find Mackenzie sitting down at the table, eating breakfast. Remembering what Paige said, I go over to her and I take her cereal bowl and put it in the sink.

"Hey! I wasn't finished with that!" she yells. I grab her arm and lead her outside.

"Do you talk behind my back?" I confront her.

"What?" she screams.

"Do you make fun of me? Do you think I'm a loser?" I ask her. She bites her lip and looks at the ground.

"Well, you did get kicked off. And besides, I need to make friends. You don't want me to become a loner, right?" she asks me, gaining her courage up.

"Do you mean those things that you say?" I ask, my voice getting quieter. I'm scared of the response.

"Well… yes. You did get kicked off, you don't have any friends, and you're a loser. What else am I going to do? You're pathetic. Chloe was right," she hisses at me.

"What did Chloe say?" I ask.

"That you're a bitch," she says, putting her hands on her hips. I walk past her and walk down the cobble steps to get to school.

"I'm walking to school. Tell Mom," I demand, while walking. I can't believe she just called me a bitch. I didn't even do anything.

When I get to school, I see Ian talking with Kendall. She laughs. Why'd she laugh at what he said? I hide to hear what their saying.

"You're so funny!" Kendall squeals. I feel my face getting red in anger.

"Uh, thanks," Ian laughs uneasily. I bet they're together. I bet all that Ian said was a lie.

"So, you want to go to the movies with me?" Kendall asks him, twirling her hair with her finger. A guy bumps into me, exposing myself to Kendall and Ian.

"Maddie-"

"Have fun," I remark, walking past the two of them and running to the bathroom. I hide in the stall and take out my scissors. I glide them across my wrist, blood rushing out. I start to silently cry and I hear Kendall on the phone.

"So, Chloe, you want to do something?" I hear her ask Chloe.

"Well, I was thinking that we could mess with Maddie," Kendall says evilly. What now?

"I think I'm going to-" she's about to say but opens the stall door where I'm in. She laughs when she sees the cuts.

"Oh my god, you emo freak!" she screams, while taking a picture of me. She sends it to twitter and facebook and I don't even stop her. I really don't care anymore. Then, she picks me up by my collar, dropping the scissors to the ground, and pushing me to the ground. She kicks my side multiple times, it hurting worse than hell. Then, she leaves. I pick up my scissors and cut more times, even though girls are coming in. Some of them look at me sad and some laugh and some give me disgusted looks, but I don't care. It's not like none of them stopped me.

During third period, I take out my phone and see a ton of comments on the picture. Most of them say that I'm just a bitch and having a pity-party. Others talk about how funny it is. None of them defend them. Four thousand likes. Four thousand people liked me cutting myself. I wonder how they would react if I killed myself. I have nothing left. They would probably laugh at me. I look at the likes and I see Mackenzie liked it. I thought that she told me that I should never do it. I also see that Brooke liked it. I thought she was on my side, but I guess I was wrong. I sigh and take out my scissors. I slide it over my arm this time. I don't have enough room for my wrist anymore. I cut and cut, not even caring. The fifth period rang, indicating that lunch was starting. I throw my scissors in my bag and hide in a stall, my feet on the seat so no one will know that I'm in here. I take out my lunch and eat it silently when I feel my phone buzz. It's Ian.

*Texts*

Ian- Where are you? ~sent at 12:54

Ian- I'm serious. I'm worried. ~sent at 12:57

Ian- I'm sorry, there's nothing going on with me and Kendall. I like you ~sent at 1:00

Ian- I'm not giving up on you, Maddie. Please, where are you. I saw the picture. I thought you weren't going to do that anymore. Text me. ~sent at 1:05

Ian- Maddie? ~sent at 1:10

Maddie- Goodbye ~sent at 1:11

*end of texts*

I get out of the bathroom and start to make my way towards the roof. Kendall sees and follows me along with a ton of others. I reach the roof and stand on the edge.

"MADDIE!" I hear someone scream. I close my eyes and am about to fall off, to end my life. I'm ready. I don't want to be here anymore. This is what I want, I need this. I'm about to jump off when someone grabs my arm and pushes me to the ground. I look up and see Ian. Kendall sneers and walks away on her heel. The rest of the group follows, leaving me and Ian alone.

"Just let me go," I tell Ian, crying.

"No. You're staying right here, Maddie," he says, also crying. I shake my head.

"I don't want to be here," I cry. Ian holds onto me tighter.

"Why? Why would you do this?"

"Everyone hates me. My mom is ignoring me, my little sister thinks I'm pathetic, my dance teacher called me fat, and my supposedly best friends hate my guts," I confess.

"Not everyone hates you. I don't hate you. I think… I think I love you Maddie," I laugh at this, more in a sad way.

"We just met yesterday, Ian," I shake my head.

"But I already know you so much, Maddie. I don't need more than a day to know that I love you," he whispers in my ear. I shiver.

"Who would ever love me? I'm pathetic,"

"I love you, Maddie. Why can't you see that?"

"Because it seems impossible," I cry, looking down at ground. I get out of his reach and go to the edge of the roof. He grabs my wrist but I push him away. I close my eyes and feel the cold wind on my skin. "I would've been dead if you didn't save me. I would just be one of those girls in the back of the yearbook, the memory of 'Madison Ziegler' I would have been the dead celebrity,"

"Maddie, please stop. Just come down from there. Please," he pleads, crying. I look at his face.

"I would just have been a thin piece of air. My dream of dancing would've been gone. Once I would've hit that floor, everyone would be devastated. They would act devastated. My sister would have the regret of her last words to me was calling me a bitch. My mom would act upset and devastated on the camera, Chloe would act. Kendall would act. But in reality, no one cares. Not even you. You want me to die. I'm crazy. Psyco. You made the mistake of meeting me at my breaking pointe. If you would have met me one year ago, we would have been something. Too late. Oh well," I say, calmly. I start to laugh. It's crazy. I'm crazy.

"Maddie?" he asks, giving up hope. He's probably scared of me. Oh well.

"I'm not going to do it. That will give them satisfaction. I can't give my 'fans' and Kendall that satisfaction that they won," I say, walking past him and into the school. I go into the bathroom and grab my stuff, and updating my facebook status.

Just tried… oh well, it didn't work. I'll try again later. :)

I add a smile for irony. I then walk out of the building, to my secret spot. I don't want Mom trying to find me or even Kenzie. I want to be by myself. I don't want to worry about anyone else. Just me. I take out my headphones and listen to music. I especially like Between the Bars by Elliott Smith.


End file.
